Identity

At any given moment in time, the intersection of life causes an unexpected clash of realities.  Today, I’m learning the wisdom of silence, the discipline of twisting spokes, and the reality of chasing pavement.  As a more extraverted and yet intentional scholar who values a good beer at the Hopleaf, nice introspective conversation, the opportunity to twist some spokes and the contemplative & meditative way of life–that sense of awareness that is beyond oneself–there is a sense that wisdom is a well where one is able to dwell for a long period of time.  At times, there is difficulty for one dwelling or one contemplating the wisdom around the well.  

I keep returning to the the process of integration.  There is something about the process of growth and growing/introspection and the politics of identity that motivates many of my questions around the politics of friendships, the difficulty of relationships, and the wisdom of silence.  I’m finding myself chasing pavement right now, and that’s okay.

I am happy that I have met some new friends who are asking some important questions.  I am grateful [largely b/c I'm unsure what "happy" means] for these folks who aid me to find a way to wisdom, to the well, to place where I am able to drink fully.  This is both lovely and loving; it is a family whose who has girded me with the necessary tools to live life fully in a time when the San Francisco fog is thick in Chicago.

There is wisdom around the well, and there is a place for me to dwell at the well.  I find myself needing a deeper sense of wisdom.  California, you’re my fault line whose saved my insides.  Thank you!

Baudrillard caught me  by surprise today with the following quote:

If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with language, which is already a form of break up and infidelity.  Jean Baudrillard.

Language has a way of moving me, a way of finding its way to my heart.  Baudrillard has a way of reminding me that I indeed have fallen love with language.  In fact, I’m grateful that I have the aptitude to use language in the manner in which I’m able to use it.  I’ll keep using language, and I’ll keep letting language find its way to my heart!

The question is:  will I fall in love with that language–in that river?  Where is this river taking me?  I’m at Horse shoe falls OR the dam…

Sometimes, almost often, Western Medicine has come to the rescue.  It’s true!  Really, and I’m grateful, so very grateful!  Today marks the 15 year anniversary of my brain aneurism.  It’s quite an emotional day for me; I seem to be so aware of everything around me:  my skin, the smells in the air, the people around me, the noises, and even my scar that will be with me for life!  I’m grateful for today-truly grateful!  Today is about life and enjoy the prose of life, which is so very delicate.  I celebrate life-I celebrate myself and those who are situated around me!  I’m grateful for friendship, family, and the love that is so very good to me which is couched in the deep recesses of my heart, stirring my soul ever so softly-the craft of theology, of course!

Theology, in its variety of expressions-public, systematic, constructive, historical, philosophical, etc-has always had a special place in my heart.  It is, after all, what I know best.  I chase after meaning; I always have.  I suppose it was a bit of an existential phenomenon propelling me toward something greater, something rooted in meaning-something that is perhaps beyond me?  Yes, I do think that is what theology offers the world:  a craft/an expression of reality/life that invites us into community.

As I consider my own contribution to the world of theology/ the craft of theology, I am mindful of my framework being that of a Latin American Feminist Liberation Theologian.  I am mindful that community is hugely important and if I, as a theologian, don’t pursue the study of community and critique the ways in which the secular world is creating and perpetuating community, then the voice of theology, her gifts and graces, won’t sustain and give life to the world.  This is only part and parcel of my contribution to the world of theology, as I consider the stirring of my soul.

So, pursuing justice is walking the road of the craft of theology and re-entering the academy.  It is the what stirs my soul and captivates my heart!

03 July 2008::  12:27 p.m. I have had a long-time interest [fascination?] with the concept of dreams.  No, I’ve not spent much time with Carl Jung, but his stuff is quite interesting!  I tend to have intense dreams, vivid and in color.  Oftentimes, my dreams emerge following a word or series of statements that a person utters.  It is unusual that my dreams are evoked from something visual.  That is, my dreams are stimulated from narrative [the verbiage of life] and not the visually constructed narrative.  I find this quite interesting!  I’m not sure what it all means or how to interpret it.  Certainly, it is fodder for analysis!  And so, I’ll deposit it here and leave it here for a bit.  Perhaps I’ll return to this post and add a bit more to it?  I don’t know?  But for now, it is important to deposit that my mind is stimulated by words:  words that I hear and not see.  The mind is stimulated, for sure. 

These are some of the questions I’m living!

We should continue to remember the ongoing struggle and perpetuation of injustices in Burma. Below is an article I received from the Human Rights Watch! Please respond as you’re able!

Dear Friend,

Your support for Human Rights Watch makes a real difference and in this past year, we have met thousands of people who told us so. Human Rights Watch gives a voice to victims around the globe who want to tell their stories, want you to hear them, and want all of us to take action. When we do take action, we can change the course of history.

Less than two months ago, the world witnessed a brutal attack on human rights in Burma. We were all moved by the images of the monks and ordinary citizens demonstrating – in some cases, laying down their lives – to peacefully protest the military government.

Human Rights Watch brought the sights and sounds of the Burma crackdown to global audiences with the most complete account of the events to date, based on eyewitness testimony. Now we need your help to demand accountability for those responsible and to protect those still in danger. Take a look at this short video on how your support is having an impact.

Human Rights Watch is working in more than seventy countries to bring tyrants to justice, name and shame abusers, protect women and children, defend civilians in wartime, and ensure respect for the dignity of every individual.

We never give up hope that change is possible. We’ve seen it happen. And we know that together, we’ll be able to achieve even more.

If you have not yet made a gift this year, we hope you will consider supporting our organization and our cause. Every gift, even $50 or $100, makes a difference. In this season of giving, please help us create a brighter future for so many around the world who are denied basic human rights.

There is much to celebrate in this holiday season, and still much work to be done. Thank you again for standing with us, and Happy New Year to you all.

Sincerely,

Carroll Bogert
Associate Director, Human Rights Watch

In the spirit of my own identity and waiting process, I offer you Bell Hooks!

I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance. bell Hooks

It’s in the act of having to do things that you don’t want to that you learn something about moving past the self. Past the ego. bell Hooks

Life-transforming ideas have always come to me through books. bell hooks