I love this song for so many reasons, and love hearing it live!  I think the Church has died but community has not, and I am living now for community.  Particularly, a liberated community…
“Philosophy Of Loss”

Welcome to why the church has died
In the heart of the exiled in the kingdom of hate
Who owns the land & keeps the commands
And marries itself to the state
Modern scribes write in Jesus Christ

Everyone is free

And the doors open wide to all straight men & women
But they are not open to me
And who is teaching kids to be soldiers
To be marked by a plain white cross
And we kill just a little to save a lot more

The philosophy of loss
There are a few who would be true out of love
And love is hard

And don’t think that our hands haven’t shoveled the dirt
Over their central American graveyards
Doctors & witch hunters stripped you bare
Left you nothing for your earthly sins
Yeah but who made this noise just a bunch of boys
And the one with the most toys wins
Who is teaching kids to be gamblers
Life is a coin toss
And of course what you give up is what you gain

The philosophy of loss

Whatever has happened to anyone else
Could happen to you & to me
And the end of my youth was the possible truth
That it all happens randomly
Who is teaching kids to be leaders
and the way that it is meant to be
the philosophy of loss

In the spirit of all things true, good, and beautiful, and for the lovely queer lesbians in my life who want peace in all things, I post this!  I want it to happen…

Let’s Make Peace Tonight

Honey pick the red corner shoes
The ones that hardly ever get used
I knelt in front of my whole collection
I’m picking you a special selection
On a no news is good news middle of mid-year day
I feel no ill with time to kill I wanna play

Let’s make peace tonight
The moon is bare and shining bright
Let’s make peace tonight in a good time

Callin’ on my good friends today
You know the drive’s about an hour away
We’ll be pitching up a tent by the trees
We’ll be wading in the river to our knees
Oh now love’s been planted & we’re checking out the yield
Two black dogs and a white one running in the field

Let’s make peace tonight
The moon is bare and shining bright
Let’s make peace tonight in a good time

We used to have some money but we spent it
So when we want to have it then we rent it
But we’re cuttin’ up the rug and I know you love me love me
And the best of everything here is free
Oh when things get messy then we tidy up the room
We’ll be no stranger to the dustpan and the broom

Let’s make peace tonight
The moon is bare & shining bright
Let’s make peace tonight
The moon is bare & shining bright
Let’s make peace tonight in a good time

So, since this is the Lesbian national anthem, I figure I should post it.  I wonder how close I am to fine, whatever “fine” is!

Closer To Fine

I’m trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shore.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I’d been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

Tonight is the Indigo Girls’ concert in Boulder.  I’m a big fan of these two, and I’ve been posting some of my favorite IG songs…a sort of Spring series where the tulips apparently are budding.

I’ll need to move on to another series (I’m trying to think of a good one), or simply just blog about what I’m up to.  In the meantime, I’m giving some space for the IG to be here on my site.  Their narratives have been stimulating and comforting and nice over the past few weeks.  I’m certain the concert will be equally so.  I’ll be with good friends from near and afar and I’ll be collecting all good things during their set.  I know I will enjoy this time w/ my friends and colleagues–they fundamentally contribute in very concrete ways to my life and well-being.  And, I’ll be celebrating the good pastor’s birthday!  So, let me say a final feliz cumpleaños to the good pastor!  I hope she really enjoys her time in Boulder with good folks, good music, and all things queer.

There have been some songs that have touched me during this series–captured me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.  I’ll list them here:

Collecting You

Life’s So Strange

Sweet Gypsy

Hey Jesus

So, here’s to the IG!  And, here’s to a good time and creating good and meaningful space with queers…I do love me some queers!

This is my last IG song to post in the series…So, I thought I’d post this one from their “Despite Our Differences” album.  I always appreciate their poetic narratives and ways they envision and explain relationships.  Its quite powerful for me.  I’d never go all the way, but if I did, I’d be playing this one!

All The Way

I wasn’t looking ot shift my direction
My eyes straight ahead hands ten and two
The gravity of our first connection
Veering off the road and into you
All the people drive by slowly gawking at the scene
Of the smoldering inevitable spark and gasoline

All the way I met you head on full speed
At the heart the blue flame burns
All the way I took the crash course impact
But have I learned all that I’m supposed to learn

No amount of playing safe could save me from this day
The heat seeking path of my trajectory
Didn’t we cooly divest of predestination
Slamming into futures we can’t see
I know what can happen when there’s more than meets the eye
But there’s no way to avoid it just get in the car and drive

All the way I met you head on full speed
At the heart the blue flame burns
All the way I took the crash course impact
But have I learned all that I’m supposed to learn

It makes me laugh talking over tea
When I can still smell the smoke on my sleeve
Steaming like gunsmoke the wreckage of our past
The scene of a crime I still can’t leave
Oh you and me, we should let well enough be
But each revisitation points to clues
There’s the oilslick of uncertainty
And warning signs back there we didn’t use
At least we laugh about it now how we escaped alive
It’s remarkable the mess we make and what we can survive

All the way I met you head on full speed
At the heart the blue flame burns
All the way I took the crash course impact
But have I learned all that I’m supposed to learn

I’ve loved this song for a long time.  Today is no different.  You can listen to it here on lifeblood.net.  I’m still a big believer in hope, and perhaps hope alone.

Hope Alone

let’s not drag this out
everything’s in motion
though i’ve only ever loved you kind
and with devotion
i remember when i met you
and even from the start
i thought one day you’d probably just come home
and break my heart

it’s funny what you know
and still go on pretending
with no good evidence
you’ll ever see that happy ending

you
looking for your distance
and sensing my resistance
you had to do your will

i
had to learn the hard way
we were just an empty dream too big
for hope alone to fill

i know i’m a dreamer
(i know that i’m a)
so i’ll give you that
(dreamer)
still i hope i’m more than just a place
(still i hope i’m more)
you laid your hat
(than a place you laid your hat)
you’re a land of secrets
(you are its only)
its only citizen
(citizen)
and though i paid my dues
(though i paid)
i was never allowed in
(i was never allowed in)
and so i am a stranger
(so i am a stranger)
especially today
(especially today)
as i get sad and lonely
and you get your way

you
were looking for your distance
and sensing my resistance
you had to do your will

i
i had to learn the hard way
that we were just an empty dream too big
for hope alone to fill

holding on for change i know
we never stood a chance
(no we never stood a chance)
so i could only wait
and watch you slip right through my hands
(watch you slip right through my hands)

you
were always looking for your distance
and sensing my resistance
you had to do your will

i
i had to learn the hard way
we were just an empty dream too big
for hope alone to fill

words and music by emily saliers and and annie roboff

I’ve recently got “turned onto” a sweet gypsy, and this Indigo Girls song is just what I needed.  You can listen to it here, and you can even save it to your iTunes (or whatever media system you use).  This is an Amy Ray tune (whom I love), and she does so well with words and emotion and poetry.  Something I can only aspire to do well…

And, don’t ever take my language too seriously or concretely…after all I’m a dreamer…the “sweet gypsy” is rooted in a future hope and is certainly not a real or imagined person or body.  Gypsies and hippies don’t really exist…except in my head and heart!  And, like the Dixie Chicks said in their lullaby song:  ”they didn’t have you where i came from.  never knew the best was yet to come.”

Sweet Gypsy

sweet gypsy blowing through my mind
and through my heart so full and empty
well these days seem strange somehow
a billion years isn’t what it appears to be

now you tell me that you’re losing hold of time
you can’t seem to find your peace of mind
well i’m so far away and i’m trying to see you through
i can’t help but feel i may be losing you

should i let you go
for your own sake
should i hold you close
for mine

anyway i love you and i couldn’t be more sure
these tears cry out “please don’t let go”
oh but their words
they keep haunting me

you can’t build your life around a dream
well it’s too late
now my world is you
there’s nothing they could say or do

well i remember the first time that i fell
i swear i never thought i’d make it up again
i’ve been flying on the wings of your love
and i’m not getting down just to fall again

don’t it seem like the road is oh so long
well everybody’s moving out
and we’re staying on
in this absurdity

now you don’t let go of me
i’m begging you
now you don’t let go of me

anyway i love you

words and music by amy ray
as performed on color me grey

So, keeping w/ my bootleg stuff, I give you this one!  This is an Emily Sailers tune. You can listen to it on lifeblood.net here.  You can also save these and import them into iTunes.  I hope the sky never gives up on me…because it has enveloped me in a way that I can’t escape.  And yes, I’m talking about the blue skies of Denver…its so very different than the gray and cloudy sky of Chicago.  Its clear, simple, beautiful, and blue.  And, I’m just generally grateful for the view.

Don’t Give up on me Baby

don’t
don’t give up on me baby
though we’ve seen shaky times
there’s still solid ground to be found
i said don’t
don’t give up on me baby
though i may seem strong
it’s only because
cause you’re around

you know me better than i do
you know how things go to my head
i said a few things to you
things that were better left unsaid
but don’t
don’t give up on me baby
cause you know i love you
and i always
i always will

now love
love’s a sweet kind of pain
it can give you wings to fly
then it drags you on down
but darling
i’ll never love this way again, no
you’re the sweetest, sweetest, sweetest love
i’ve ever found

you know me better than i do
you know how things go to my head
i said a few things to you
things that were better left unsaid
but don’t
don’t give up on me baby, no
cause i love you
and i always
always will

words and music by emily saliers
as performed on don’t eat out of dented cans

An Amy Ray song which can be heard on lifeblood.net here.  You can also save these and import them into iTunes.

Chiapas Bound

all the girls with anorexia are on the street tonight
and the boys in the band think they look just fine
and i dont even know why i drove this car down congress avenue
hoping to find you turning on the light

well you seem like a girl with the world on your side
but its just a point of view
and you know how quickly that could change too
see i heard you were free or someone thinks you should be
and i know just how that feels
i thought maybe we could just talk for a while

cause baby i got something to stand for
i got somewhere we could go home
i just need someone to stand with
see it ain’t no good this feeling alone

when you said that you’d go down to mexico
well i think that i might go there too
but its probably too late to find someone like you
yeah it sounds really cool to be without a care in some southern town
but i heard there’s trouble down there if you’re chiapas bound

yeah it sounds really cool to be without a care in some southern town
but i heard there’s trouble down there if you’re chiapas bound

words and music by amy ray
as performed march 16, 1997 in hempstead, new york