p.s. I love you
I’ve been having several conversations all centering on sex, eroticism, and intimacy. And, these conversations have NOT been in the bedroom. These conversations have been in public discussing what many believe to be private or bedroom conversations, and these conversations haven’t necessarily included my primary partner. When I think about these topics, I necessarily think about the body and how the body is implicated in sexual activity, eroticism, and intimacy. I also think about how relationships (understood broadly) engage in the intersection of sexual activity (broadly understood as something other than genital contact), eroticism, and intimacy.
Take, for example, the phrase: I love you. How often do you hear this phrase from someone other than a family member or partner? I think that most of us understand this phrase as either evoking something romantic or part of a family narrative. What if we risked our bodies in some of our relationships where we encounter intimacy and voiced this phrase? What if when we greeted one another (one of our intimate, close friendships) with this phrase? I know of someone who practices this, and I think its beautiful. I’m also jealous that this person shares this type of intimacy w/ another body. I want to have this. I want to have this outside my primary pairing.
Having this sort of relationship for me means some organic element is present. This doesn’t happen often; it’s rare. When I consider forms of intimacy or eroticism in relationship, I naturally think of my own cultural context whereby Latinos greet/leave one another w/ a kiss. While this is a component of culture, this requires a fair amount of organic-ness to enter into that space w/ another body.
Another element that comes to mind around this is how important the body is in this verbal exchange. The body can’t simply be absent or invisible when telling someone you love them. It requires a level of attachment and engagement. So, if the body is required in this exchange of words and intimacy, what does that exactly mean? What narrative drives this exchange? How is momentum achieved when approaching this intimate space w/ another?
When I tell someone I love them my body is necessarily implicated in this exchange. It is, perhaps, an erotic text exchanging with another erotic text, another body. Its a beautiful space to share with someone, and I’m grateful that I have this with someone outside my primary pairing.
p.s. I love you
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This post is a great expression of your desire to be in meaningful community; a beautiful thing. I wonder what ‘i luv u’ means in these different contexts, such as pairing, family and friends? What does it mean for you? Desire? Committment?
I think this a good question. It necessarily involves desire and commitment. In the Latino community at least, there is a real love or ethic of care for the other. I try to embody this.