Reflections from a Queer Wedding
It’s not surprising that I have been thinking about my own wedding during my brother-in-law’s Evangelical Wedding feast. SRH & I both have reflected on our time in Toronto, ON, Canada when we married in 2006. We had journeyed together for some seven years prior to marrying. We think that developing a deep relationship is important and had experienced this deepness prior to our wedding. So, quite often, the question from both the Queer and Straight communities is: Why’d you get married?
While I don’t always have the best polished answer for this question, I still value the idea of a dyad or couple being committed. Now, I think this can be achieve outside the institution of marriage, but for SRH & me this was a natural inclination. Now, almost eleven years into our relationship and almost to a four year marker for our institutionalized marriage, I think I still would have gone through this process of marrying.
My wedding is one of the best memories I have. It was full of color, generations, and difference. I value these things in my life and in the decisions I make. I don’t value the dominant narrative of whiteness and heteronormativity. Hence, these things were NOT part of my wedding. My wedding consisted of a radical feminist pastor (who is now a member of parliament in Toronto) and a white feminist lesbian who officiated the service. SRH & I were surrounded by a multitude of difference, intentional difference, which created a certain space to participate in the institution of marriage.
I think about this a lot when I attend weddings. I think about how my wedding was so very personal, authentic, and intentional. From our rehearsal dinner (which was catered by Whole Foods) to our dinner after the wedding (which was at Slack’s in Toronto), there was space created for everyone. That is not always my experience at weddings I attend. There is often a pretty gendered space that is created for folks, and the event is pretty assimilationist. That wasn’t my wedding.
So, as I head out to this wedding, I’m bringing my whole self. I’m wearing Argyle & a Windsor knot w/ my Danskos. I will participate in this space as a Queer, non-genderconforming person. In the end, I will retreat to my own space back in Denver and return to my queer non-heteronormative world where I find much engagement with the world around me.
FireStats
- Pages displayed : 8175
- Unique visitors : 3035
- Pages displayed in last 24 hours : 107
- Unique visitors in last 24 hours : 39
Powered by FireStatsNetWorked Blogs
Popular posts
- Being PROUD @ 5,280′ OR Doing PRIDE (in Denver)
- Human Rights Campaign day 2: gender, pronouns, scholarship, conversations, life
- On Be-ing and sitting w/ a Dalyan scholar
- Mary Daly: a life lived OUT loud
- in the beginning was chemo/radiation
- Second Time Around
- New Jersey’s for Hispanics y más
- I am Joaquin/Yo Soy Joaquin
- Hispanic Theological Initiative, day 1
- Bound for Nashville, TN: HRC Summer Institute for LGBT(Q) Studies
Powered by FireStats
iRobyn rss- Tour de Fat September 4, 2010This is a short video as we get ready to start the bike parade in Ft. Collins for Tour de Fat. Enjoy this little short video! […]Robyn
- Vlogging and Blogging September 4, 2010Thanks so much for reading the iRobyn site for so many years! Every few years, there’s been a change. Either with theme or content or both! Now, as 2010 rounds out, there’s going to be some (r)evolution come to the iRobyn site! Video blogging! I am really looking forward to incorporating the video element to […]Robyn
- Pre-San Francisco (test) Vlog September 3, 2010So, I’m trying my hand at Vloging. This is a short clip that I did w/ Milan, my iPhone! I am hoping to do some vloging while in San Francisco next week. Like on the streets and whatnot! Brilliant, right?! […]Robyn
- Homophobia September 3, 2010Unfortunately, we live in a world of hate. And, sometimes that hatred, whether we recognize it as such or not, lives close to us. This is my response to your hatred! I think what disturbs me most is that you’re teaching your kid to hate. All this under the guise of religion, God–Christianity! And, that […]Robyn
- Quit stalling, Quiznos! Farmworkers’ Human Rights Now! September 2, 2010Quit stalling, Quiznos! Farmworkers’ Human Rights Now! Protest & Rally in solidarity with the Coalition of Immokalee Workers Friday, October 15, 11:30 -1:00pm outside Quiznos corporate headquarters – 1001 17th St. (17th & Curtis, downtown Denver) In May, Quiznos promised that it would soon be joining in agreement with the Coalition of Immokalee Worke […]Robyn
- On turning 34: having a life full of love; being compelled to live September 1, 2010I turned 34 in Nashville, TN with a group of LGBTQ folks. It was the next to last day of this event, and I already had a tremendous summer. Now, with some new super cool friends, I was rounding out the month of July (my birthday is 7/30) in style: super queer and swanky–all in […]Robyn
- Traversing el Río: Performing The/My (In)visible Mestizaje Body August 29, 2010The following is posted on the PostColonial Networks site as their “launch” post. If you are interested in this style of academic writing, contact the editors! They are currently looking for additional posts! A borderland is a vague and undetermined place created by the emotional residue of an unnatural boundary. It is in a constant […]Robyn
- Packing up Books became a Sacred moment for me August 28, 2010Yesterday was a difficult day. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I had coffee with a friend, finalized a conference paper, ran some errands, and then was home for the day. I finally decided to wrap up in my favorite blanket and take a nap. I was hoping that this would help ameliorate […]Robyn
- “To Live in the Borderlands Means You” August 25, 2010To live in the Borderlands means you are neither hispana india negra espanola ni gabacha, eres mestiza, mulata, half-breed caught in the crossfire between camps while carrying all five races on your back not knowing which side to turn to, run from; To live in the Borderlands means knowing that the india in you, betrayed […]Robyn
- Connecting the dots August 24, 2010It is late in the afternoon on a sunny Denver day. I woke to rain and cloudy skies. There was even a fall chill in the air. As the day dawned, the rain clouds lifted and the sun began to shine. Now, as I sit and type in my living room, the sun is brightly […]Robyn
- Tour de Fat September 4, 2010
FireStats
- 60 readers
Powered by FireStats
