I am Ze
Writing from Vanderbilt Univeristy Divinity school…
Are you ready for this one? I want to talk about gender. No, I don’t want to talk about the theological constructions of gender, the body as constructed in late antiquity, the modern notion of gender, or the social construction of gender. I want to talk about how I was assigned a gender…I read it first in text. My gender performance first became known to me and others in text, not in any actual performing of a gender. Let me explain.
I am known to never list a gender when referring to myself. I hardly ever check a box. I do this on purpose as I am interested in queering gender. And, as I was reading through the Human Rights Campaign’s booklet of the Institute Fellows and presenters, I suddenly realize that I have been assigned a gender. A gender? Really? It was neither he nor she. My assigned gender exists outside of the gender binary. I am Ze in the booklet. Robyn = Ze. Where is THAT box on the census?
Purposefully, when I wrote out my biographical sketch, I used my name whenever I mentioned myself instead of inserting a “she” or “he.” I tend to speak of myself in the 3rd person when writing out auto/biographical statements. I always self identify as a QueerMestizo, and that is listed in the HRC booklet. And, alongside, my self-identification is what is commonly referred to as a transgender pronoun, or for someone existing outside the gender binary: Ze.
While I appreciate the spirit of gender neutrality, I seek to problematize the gender categories. I am not neutral. I might be ambiguous, but I am for sure not neutral. I am pretty political in my gender performance–nonconforming and all. I am always a Latina and always a QueerMestizo. I am not willing to give up these political and gendered terms. I always relate to people as a Latin@, first. Then, I relate to them as a queer person. Yet, I identify as a QueerMestizo, and I intentionally use the “o” to disrupt the gender binary, while always referring to myself as a Latina Ethicist.
So, if you’re wondering what Ze is, here’s a link for you! Click here. Or, if you’re a fan of the Urban Dictionary, you can click here.
It is good to be in this space with other queer folks. There is only two other Latin@s (Peter and Sophía), but there are several other people of color: Black, Asian, and others. I so look forward to learning more about the social construction of gender in this Institute and likewise, talking public theology with the fellows.
Heartily signed, Ze Latina QueerMestizo.
p.s. Andrea Gibson sometimes says it best:
It’s not that I thought I’d grow up to be a man
I just never thought I’d grow up to be a woman either
From what I could tell neither of those categories
Seemed to fit me.
But believe me, I knew from a very young age never to say
“Hey dad, this adam and eve thing isn’t really working for me.
I mean, what about all the people in between?”
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