Author Archives: Robyn

About Robyn

PhD student, theologian/ethicist, cultural naval gazer, critical social player, queer feminist mestizo of color, christian agnostic. ☮ ❤ 

(When) life moves you

I think I’ve sufficiently been moved…in a radical way…

I moved to Denver from Chicago September 2009.  I continue in the vein of the spiraling nomad, full of passion and heart for the things which matter most–the true, good, and beautiful things.  In many ways, I never thought I’d make it this far.  What’s a girl from Texas got to offer to the big league of the academy when all she’s got is passion and hope to change the world?  I knew this would be tough, but I had no clue what I was getting myself into, except that I would have a shit-ton of reading to do.  I’ll soon complete my second year of doctoral work, and I’m happy in so many ways.  I’m happy with my classes, the relationships I’ve made, and the work that I do for DULCCES.  The intensity and challenge of my work brings me great joy.  It also frightens me a bit, because I’m not settling for status-quo ethics.  I’m venturing into the realm of queer(y)ing Ethics.  I’ve made some amazing friends and some surprising connections.  This is when life moves you, I think.  When the unexpected connections in of life stir your soul, which I’m more inclined to believe I have now than ever before–a soul, that is.

Know that my life is moved, and I’m extremely grateful.  They didn’t have this where I came from–I didn’t know the best was yet to come.  Thank you for connecting with me, and thank you for the good things in life:  laughter, conversation, and passion.  I look forward to reading about it all…

The sky will always be gorgeous to me and lovely in so many ways–full of passionate poetics, light and airy, like breath.

eye on las fronteras

Earlier this year I had the idea to create a Wiki (a collaborative tool) on the US Borderlands, highlighting the politics, race, gender, problems, precursors to the US/Mexico Borderlands or Las Fronteras.  I thought a Wiki would be a great resource and pedagogical tool, collaborative and all, and one that is needed for students and scholars of the US Borderlands.  There is not a Wiki anywhere on the intergoogler which highlights the situation of the US Borderlands.  There is a consortium and society of Borderland Studies, but there is no where on the web where one can find detailed and scholarly information pertaining to the US Borderlands.  And, since I want to develop a competency in US Borderland Theories, I thought of creating this resource.

Last fall I met a Chicano in one of my classes who is also interested in US Borderlands.  When I decided to actually pursue this idea, I decided to approach him by asking him to be a partner in collaboration, contribution, and general editing.  Thankfully, he agreed!  We have had only 2 meetings–one in the Spring quarter and one just this past weekend.  Our first meeting we did a lot of brainstorming together–finding a platform, hosting service, etc.  The domain name had already been bought (by me), but we needed a wiki platform to explore.  We have decided on MediaWiki (which is what Wikipedia uses).

We are using a Wiki platform, but are creating the Wiki in the vein and spirit of the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.  We will have invited contributors who are scholars in the field of Borderland Studies/Theories and maintain all the permissions.  The published content will be protected by the Wiki, and will not be able to be edited by just anyone who discovers the site.  Authors of content will gain permissions to their page to post content.  This is how it differs from Wikipedia.  There, everyone has access to alter the content.  We are choosing to manage the content a little differently.  My Chicano colleague-friend and I will be the General Editors of this Wiki and will have contributors who have permissions (we *think*).

While we are still trying to figure everything out, it is exciting to know that I just finished a conversation with Profesora AnaLouise Keating of Texas Woman’s University.  She has agreed to contribute to the Gloria Anzaldúa page, a Borderland scholar who has greatly affected both my Chicano colleague-friend and myself.  I am completely stoked to have talked with AnaLouise (on a Saturday evening at that) and excited about her scholarly support of this project!

Soon, I will list the domain for the Wiki.  By the end of the year, it will be live!  Stayed tuned to have an eye on las fronteras.  Currently we have a twitter feed that we will import into the Wiki, posting relevant articles highlighting the the US Borderlands.  We will likely utilize other social media tools, like FaceBook, to get the word out.  Certainly, our own personal websites will serve as vehicles for publicizing the domain name, and hopefully people like you who read our sites.

If you read this blog with any frequency, then you know that I am passionate about the US Borderlands, the space/place and the people who inhabit and traverse las fronteras.  My colleague and I truly think this Wiki might be a great pedagogical resource for students learning about the US Borderlands and overall great tool for anyone interested in learning more about the US Borderlands.  We plan to provide suggested reading(s), key people who are experts in the field, and suggested sites (if we find any).

Stay tuned!  Feel free to contact me via this site by leaving a comment, or if you are connected with me via FB, feel free to send me a message if you are interested in this project in any way.  ¡Podemos hablar!

Saludos, colegas, R.

Saturdays/Sábados: some are good; some are just better

Today started as just another “normal” (whatever normal is, mi amiga reminds me) Saturday.  I wake up at 7, lay in bed for a while, then decide a little after 8 to actually get my ass in gear.  On this particular morning, I needed to be at 6th Ave. United Church (of Christ) at 9:30 for the Colorado Anti-Violence Program’s Pancake Breakfast.  I appreciate being invited to these types of events, but I am awfully awkward in spaces where I know no one.  Today was one of those days.

I arrived early at 9:15 (traveling on white time today, instead of Latino time).  I remained in the car listening to a mix of music and then ventured out of Lupe close to 9:30.  No one I knew was there.  People were there, but no one I knew was THERE.  I didn’t panic.  I collected my mestizo self and just sat on a bench outside the church.  In. The. Hot. Sun.  It was nice outside, and I enjoyed watching folks trickle in.  (I may have sat outside for 4 minutes waiting…not long at all!)  Just as I was becoming comfortable in the sunny outdoors on my bench (which I had all to myself), here came EVERYONE I knew.  They were running on Latino time.  They, however, are mostly white.  Funny, I thought!  We hugged and greeted in traditional fashion (something I really appreciate these white folks [and Jordan my Latino friend]).  I met some new folks during this meet and greet time.  They hail from Minneapolis, MN.  Little did I know, I would soon meet the face of a blog I read:  Swan Dive. I had NO clue that I would sit across the table from Rachel and Ratchet.  Completely cool people.  Oh, and Jennifer Piper from Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition / American Friends Service Committee sat right next to me.  There at my table were some really great folks:  queers, people of color, and popular bloggers.  Seth, Jordan, Malcolm, Piper, Rachel, & Ratchet.  My Saturday morning was off to a really great start!  And, pancakes hadn’t even been served.  Once Seth went off for hir batter shift, Malcolm and his kids graced my side.  We had a lovely morning!

Thoroughly enjoying the morning, we began talking about blogs.  I mentioned to Rachel (Swan Dive blog) “I hear you run a popular blog?”  She responded with “I started following yours on Twitter when you were at Theology After Google…I was so glad someone was raising queer concerns”  ”WHAT?!” I respond.  Then she tells me who/what her blog is:  Swan Dive and Sweet Bi & Bi.  First, you must know that its totally cool to meet a blogger (and then to learn they just sold their soul to wordpress whom I adore)!  Its even cooler to know that this blogger is writing some really great stuff, like social change stuff.  Attentive to queer concerns and concerns of the church, I have grown to really enjoy the Swan Dive blog.  What began as a really awkward “I know no one” scene turned into meeting some really great folks!  I have an invitation to MN to visit 10,000+ lakes and the cool queers ,and perhaps we’ll even be able to join up efforts in the blogosphere!

After the pancake breakfast (which I completely enjoyed) I ventured to get my hairs trimmed.  I went to Floyd’s to see Meagan.  It had been 3 months since I had seen Meagan, and it was time for some conversation.  I always enjoy this time because Meagan is so fascinating, and, paired with my studies, we end up having some pretty interesting conversations.  First, she wanted to see pictures of me right after my head was shaved (my hairs had grown a bit).  She told me I wear this look good!  I appreciate her kindness.  So, as she began to grab for the clippers, she began updated me on her love life.  Now, I don’t particularly enjoy talking about these sorts of things, but it is so fascinating with Meagan.  She’s with a new dude–a Latino!!!  Of course, I am stoked about this!  And, she gives me the whole story.  What should only last about 15 or 20 minutes in a hair cut–that is, buzzing my hair–lasted 45 minutes.  It was great to catch up!

Next I met up with a colleague-friend whom I had not seen in some time.  My friend, a Latino, is so very supportive of me and the work that I do.  I had forgotten how much I had missed his support and conversation.  Spring quarter just got so busy for both of us that we hardly had any time to connect.  We did today, however, and it was great.  I am grateful for friends like this one.

So, what started as a normal Saturday turned into a really great day of meeting some really spectacular folks–from the Midwest and all!  It is sometimes good for me to be reminded of the likeminded folks with whom I am connected.  And, it is always good for me to hear Jordan’s criticisms of the academy.  It is one of the things I appreciate most about him.  He was very kind to me when he, in a very soft and intentional voice, said: “I don’t want you to loose your soul to this violence.”  I told him I would try not to loose my soul, and to always remember the folks who reside outside the academy who likely have my better interest in mind, like him.

Thanks to all for a great Saturday!  I’m the lucky one!

Cancer's a Bitch OR "why is it so hard to die?"

Cancer has been a part of my life, since I was a child.  I have always known and lived with cancer.  Never in my body, but always in close proximity to my body.  In fact, it is my worst nightmare.  Today 2010 is no different.

In the 1980s, I was just getting to know all of my family.  Meredith, my cousin, was diagnosed with Childhood Leukemia.  I recall her being bald from chemotherapy and struggling during treatments.  She recovered.  Next came my paternal grandmother, Nova (NoNo) Bowen Henderson who had a malignant tumor on her kidney.  She had it removed.  Following this was the diagnosis of prostate cancer for my paternal grandfather.  Surgery to remove the prostate seemed sufficient.  He recovered.  Two professors in the school of theology were diagnosed with cancer, but were both treatable.  Then, one evening as I worked on an English paper, I received a phone call from my dad.  He informed me that he had been diagnosed with cancer and was beginning treatment.  I remember that I was devastated.  He eventually succumbed to the disease–he died.  He lived with cancer for ten years, and I always dreaded knowing when he died.  I was living in Chicago and he was in San Antonio.  I still live with sadness.  Not long after I learned of his death, a colleague-friend was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.  She never smoked, yet she had an aggressive form of this disease.  She was a therapist in Chicago, serving much of the LGBTQ community and even had started a “Bitch-to-Quit” Program out of Howard Brown.  She was also the ED (interim) of the Lesbian Community Care Project and worked at the Center on Halsted’s anti-violence program.  She made waves!

I recall sitting in her office one evening talking about migration, her own border crossings, and ways she has dealt with cultures.  Lisa was originally from Plymouth, England, so getting to know the US culture was challenging.  I recall that conversation we had as one of the most invigorating conversations, and one that helped me think about my own academic work.  I attended the celebration service at the University of IL Chicago; it was huge and many friends came to give account to the greatness of Lisa.  She continues to be missed in the LGBTQ and Anti-Violence worlds.

During my time in Chicago, I learned that my partner’s aunt was diagnosed with Lymphoma.  And, though it was treatable, she would undergo some extensive therapies.  She continues to live with the disease and is doing well, despite some bumps in the road.

Last fall I learned that my college-friend, Matt Chandler, was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  He collapsed having a seizure on Thanksgiving day.  Following brain surgery and several rounds of chemotherapy, he is doing better.  He continues to live with the disease.

Last week, as I was sitting in the drive-thru at the Dairy Queen.  The phone rang.  It was my partner’s mother calling to share some news with us.  Wayne, my partner’s paternal grandfather, is living with an aggressive from of Lymphoma (which we knew), but did not know that the oncologist was going to recommend HOSPICE.  Really?  Death is immanent?  Apparently…so, the whole family descended onto 5280, coming in shifts, but everyone was here by Sunday.  We had a nice BBQ with everyone, including the grandparents.  They are now home with 24-hour care, including hospice.

Yet, Wayne, whom I have loved as my own grandfather, has responded with this question:

WHY is it So Hard to Die?

There have been so many people in and out of the grandparents home:  hospice, family, kids, nurses, etc.  He is tired.  His children are tired.  I am tired.  I am also scared.  Why IS it so hard to die?  Cancer is indeed a bitch, and I hope I never have to face it–in my own body, that is.  I am facing it now, again, for the whatever tenth time.  It is hard to watch him deal with this, and it is also hard to watch the family deal with death, dying, suffering, etc.  I want to claim that life is good, but all I have now is that Cancer is a Bitch.

Everyone dies.  The end.

Ethics & Social Theory

I am suppose to be preparing for my Fall Comprehensive Exam:  Ethics & Social Theory.  I have been adding and removing books (my list has already been approved!), and yet I am struggling to formulate my questions…partly due to the very white Eurocentric works that I’m currently dealing with.  Soon!  I suspect to be doing better soon in this process. . . there is always mañana!

By the way, today is the anniversary of my dad’s death.  Here’s to thinking of Talmage Lawrence (T.L. “Larry”) Henderson.  Thinking every good thing in times of loss.

Viviendo la vida en la(s) frontera(s)

I know life in the Borderlands. Esto es lo que está en mi mente y en mi corazón hoy as I move through este semana.

Intimate Terrorism:  Life in the Borderlands

The world is not a safe place to live in.  We shiver in separate cells in enclosed cities, shoulders hunched, barely keeping the panic below the surface of the skin, daily drinking shock along with our morning coffee, fearing the torches being set to our buildings, the attacks in the strees.  Shutting down.  Woman does not feel safe when her own culture, and white cultre, are critical of her; when the males of all races hunt her as prey.

page 40 in Gloria E. Anzaldúa’s, Borderlands/La Frontera

My Chicana identity is grounded in the Indian woman’s history of resistance.

page 41 of GEA’s Borderlands

WATER’s Feminist Conversations in Religion Teleconference · "Feminist Theology in Theological Education" A Conversation with R. Ruether

WATER’s Feminist Conversations in Religion

Hour-long Teleconference · July 8, 2010

Feminist Theology in Theological Education

A Conversation with Rosemary Radford Ruether

Thursday, July 8, 2010

1:00 PM – 2:00 PM EDT

RSVP to e.speigle@gmail.com or call 301 589-2509 to receive dial-in information by July 7, 2010.

Rosemary Radford Ruether will speak about her chapter, “Feminist Theology in Theological Education,” in the anthology New Feminist Christianity: Many Voices, Many Views, published by Skylight Paths, forthcoming July 2010.

She will focus on feminism in theological education as well as the reception of feminist theology in Africa and Latin America. She will also include some reflections on the situation in Taiwan where she has been lecturing of late. As professor emerita at Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary and the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley she is well qualified to comment on theological education.

Dr. Ruether is a world-renowned theologian whose dozens of books, hundreds of articles, chapters, and lectures have sparked thousands of readers and students to new insights. Her scope is so enormous—feminist theology, classical theology especially the Patristic Period, Palestinian issues, eco-feminist work, women-church—that it is easier to note what she has not written on! Still, Rosemary has incredible energy for teaching, lecturing, and solidarity work around the world. Her most recent book is Many Forms of Madness: a Family’s Struggle with Mental Illness and the Mental Health System.

Please feel free to join us on the call for a lively discussion with Rosemary Radford Ruether. Gather some friends, have lunch, and join in the conversation!

RSVP to e.speigle@gmail.com for call-in number and any further information.

All are welcome. Invite your friends to have lunch and listen/participate together.

The Feminist Conversations in Religion are open to all. These hour-long live teleconferences highlight the latest issues addressed by WATER. In addition to the teleconferences, feel free to go to our Web site www.hers.com/water to listen to an audio version at your convenience.

To register for the July 8, 2010 conversation with Rosemary Radford Ruether:

You will receive dial-in instructions by return email.

We encourage you to make a donation to WATER. Thank you.

The Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual (WATER)

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Second Time Around

I am fond of folk music…particularly of the Indigo Girls.  There is something to both the rhythm and story of the song that is sung.  The Good Pastor pointed this out and after reading the reflection of the song, I knew I had to post it!  I have been bitten by the bitter bug!  In many ways, I am going a “second time around.”  I do not know where this turn will take me, but I am taking some risks–risks on the nouns I love.  It seems important to go a second time around on some things that I have always been fond of and things that are new to me or about which I am newly fond of.  I am learning what space(s) is/are important and how to create place(s) which are meaningful, who is an ally and who is not, and who are (true) conversation partners who show more signs of understanding in the complexity of life.

It is true that I have always been an Amy Ray fan.  She is evocative in so many ways, but after this Spring, I find myself being compelled by the radical progressive and spiritual Emily Sailers!  I have a kind affection for her…Below, I have posted the reflection (written by Amy) and the lyrics to the song.

Second Time Around – 10/03/09 @ Mayo Center for Performing Arts / Morristown, NJ

This song grew out of a few different stories from friends and some of my own as well. I remember, I was being harassed by a drunk crowd one night while loading out from a solo rock show and it felt like no matter what I said, I couldn’t win for losing. I was feeling a real need for allies and also trying to get my own heart and attitude straight. I hear this song differently every time we sing it. Each audience reacts in a different way. Sometimes they laugh and clap along, and sometimes I just feel their sadness and compassion. I never take the crowd for granted, and this is one song I like to let the audience guide. It helps me tell the story to feel their reaction. This particular show in Morristown was one of our favorite shows of all time; the kind of show that even your sound engineer says was a good one.

- Amy

Here’s the mp3, in case you don’t know the song:  Second Time Around

The second time around, you know it really got me down
Sister don’t you judge it, just keep it to yourself now
And if you ain’t got nothing good to say
Don’t say nothing at all

I got bitten by the bitter bug, and now I just can’t get enough
Of ill will and my own conceit
I’m weary of the world it seems
I’m weary of the world, weary of the world it seems

It’s sort of always gone my way
I’m just a little bit off these days
Like I’ve had hard knocks all my life, like I’m a Bible belt wife
Like I didn’t see it coming, like I didn’t walk in willingly

See, I never want to sing again
La la la like a butterfly
Without my wits about me, without my heart in line
Third times a charm and this is mine

You said you heard Loretta sing and felt the loneliness seeping in
The cowboys made you uneasy, you’re a god-fearing lesbian
So you learn not to yearn and you take it on the chin again

Here’s what I find about compromise-
Don’t do it if it hurts inside,
Cause either way you’re screwed, eventually you’ll find
You may as well feel good; you may as well have some pride

Come August we’ll go to Cherokee and hear Loretta do her thing
Pack it into the Indian casino and make the hillbilly scene,
Kick up our heels and join in

Are you my ally or my enemy?
Do you have self-loathing or empathy?
Can you keep me in your prayers, sister,
Can you keep me in there somewhere?
And sister if you ain’t got nothing good to say…
Don’t say nothing at all.

Written by Amy Ray


Coche

I have found some wheels.  A 1997 Volkswagen Jetta.  It is a 5-speed Manual Transmission, and I trust it to get me to where I need to be!  This will certainly add some color to my life!  I will likely have to think of a name for this coche!


Su Teatro

Estimados Amigos!

This July El Centro Su Teatro (www.suteatro.org) is participating in the
Biennial of the Americas (www.biennialoftheamericas.org) by offering a
plethora of cultural offerings between July 6-10. We are proud to work with
Museo de las Americas, Shadow Theater Company and Central City Opera to
present works that express our culture and heritage. Attached is a letter
with listings and descriptions of the shows we are offering during the
Biennial. The shows will take place at our larger and new space at the
Denver Civic Theater, which allows us to share our work with more people. On
behalf of the staff here at Su Teatro I would like to warmly welcome your
organization to join us for any show during early July.

Tickets can be purchased for individuals for $18 or discounted for $15 for
seniors and students. We also offer group rates for Comadre groups. Groups
of 12 or more are considered a Comadre group and these groups have access to
the lowest ticket price. For our upcoming Biennial events we would like to
offer your organization a Comadre rate of $5 per ticket, a discount from
the regular $12 rate. Comadre tickets must be sold in advance so please
start spreading the word about these great shows and organize your Comadre
group today. Thank you for your support and we hope to see you at the
theater!

Upcoming Performances at the Denver Civic Theater:

July 6 @ 7:30p.m., XicanIndie FilmFest presents New World Border by
Guillermo Goméz-Peña
(if you are interested in seeing this film in a group, please leave a comment and/or email me)
July 7 @ 7:30p.m., Strange Democracy, a performance by Guillermo Goméz-Peña
July 8 & 9 @ 7:30p.m., La Carpa de los Rasquachis, an original Su
Teatro performance
July 10 @ 3:00p.m., En Mis Palabras presented by Central City Opera
July 10 @ 7:30p.m., Life and Times of Ol?Alfred performed by Shadow Theatre

Thank you for your support!

Anna Stehle
Su Teatro development intern
Email: anna@suteatro.org
Office: (303) 296-0219